My Search for Happiness in the First Year of Sobriety

DAY 1: HOUR BY HOUR

Happiness in sobriety? Could this really be possible? Yes, I know I need to quit drinking if I want to continue to live. Survival during sobriety maybe, but happiness seems almost out of the question.

I do feel a little glimmer of hope when I see other sober women who seem happy. Could I get there too? I won't think about that now. First I must somehow find a way to quit drinking. I will try to get through today without a drink. I will survive this day hour by hour. I know that I have to begin to really try.

DAY 3: PROUD BUT SCARED

It's been three days without a drink! I feel proud of myself but I'm also scared to death that I won't be able to maintain this. Maybe if I accept the fear but don't let it take over, I can continue. The women in my group have given me praise for what I have accomplished. That feels good. I don't want to let them and myself down. Just one more day, I can do it!

I am feeling uneasy about myself. Thoughts have been coming to mind about what I don't like in my life, oh, what I wouldn't give to have a drink to numb my brain. How can I stay sober and deal with all these problems in my life too? I feel angry, it's not fair! I also feel angry at myself for letting my life get so out of control. Guilt will just get me drinking again so I can't go there. I need to try to think positive and just know that not drinking is enough for now.

3 WEEKS: MORE IN CONTROL

It's been three weeks! I heard once that to establish a new pattern, it takes 21 days. It's true that I feel a little more in control now.

My need to drink seems to occur more with mental triggers than with a physical need. When I feel sad or lonely or angry, it's the worst. Staying with my real feelings and honoring them is tough.

My group keeps telling me that getting to know myself will help me stay sober. Then why do I feel all this guilt about what I seem to need or desire. Will I have to change all the relationships in my life? Will they stick with me when they get to know the real me? It's too scary to think about if they are unwilling to grow and change with me.

3 MONTHS: COULD THIS BE PEACE?

It's been three months with no alcohol. When I was walking on the beach today, I felt a moment of peace and acceptance with myself. Could this be happiness? I noticed that as soon as I tried to soak it in, I felt a desire to drink again. Why do I want to sabotage myself? Is it because I don't think I deserve to be happy?

1 YEAR: ACCEPTANCE

It's been over a year now. My life used to be filled with busy activities, always finding a way to distract from what I really felt. Drugs and alcohol also served this purpose. Now my work is to accept my feelings, sit with them daily during meditation, and try to live in the moment as much as possible.

I used to think happiness was something big, like exhilaration or joy, when I felt ecstatic! Yes, that is happiness, but those moments come rarely. Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., founder of the Women for Sobriety Program, was right when she said happiness is created, not waited for. It takes practice to feel happiness or at least peace.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

Someone once told me that if I had the key to happiness, I would be happy while doing the dishes. Yeah, right! The truth is that life is often filled with many small, repetitive tasks. Happiness comes during those moments when I know that I am doing the right task, and that only occurs when I know what my bigger picture is.

My more difficult and long-term goals include keeping my Women for Sobriety group going, building my business, and learning art and dance. When I know that I am working steadily towards those goals, I can enjoy the beautiful view of nature I see outside my kitchen window and feel happiness while doing the dishes!

APPRECIATION

I need to work on developing awareness and appreciation of the small moments throughout the day that provide the opportunity for me to feel happy: a beautiful blue bird flying in front of my window while I type this, my daughter singing in the other room, me writing this on New Year's Day because I had a desire to.

I wish for you the strength to look inward and find your own road to happiness.

Jeannie Long

About the Author

Jeannie Long now enjoys 8 years of continuous sobriety. She leads a weekly support group for women using the Women for Sobriety Program.

She helps women achieve better physical and mental health through her health related web sites and newsletters.

To read about the subjects covered in Jeannie's Commit to Recovery newsletter, click on the following link: http://www.ajpip.com/addictions/anopi/dir /jncrb.htm

---

Achieve Instant Calm

For instant calm, try one or more of the following... Read More

Becoming A Certified Reflexologist

Reflexology is something I've used and loved since I was... Read More

How To Prevent The Flu

Can you prevent the flu? or is it just luck... Read More

How to Beat the Winter Blues

Those who revel in the winter season delight in visions... Read More

Why DO the Japanese Have the Longest Lifespan? Part 2: Live the Lifestyle

Why do the Japanese have the longest lifespan? Last month... Read More

The Whys and Habits of Anxiety & Panic Disorder

Just about everyone asks themselves why? Why did I get... Read More

Neroli: The Fragrance that Exudes Contentment

One whiff of this unique fragrance will be enough to... Read More

More Sinus Headaches Home Remedies

One of the best sinus headaches home remedies, is called... Read More

Hypnosis Way of General Indications of Deceit

When the subject is changed, he's in a better, more... Read More

The Science Of Mind Over Matter

We possess an incredible power. It's the power of mind... Read More

Illness - What Can We do About it?

Illness concerns everyone. How can we approach it? And what... Read More

Bleeding Gums

Bleeding gums can be one sign of periodontal disease, gingivitis,... Read More

Stuttering Treatment, Stammering Treatment

There are many different treatments for people who stutter/stammer. In... Read More

Can Tea Strengthen Your Bones?

It has long been said that caffeine is not good... Read More

Mental Anchors

Have you ever noticed when you remember something pleasant in... Read More

Body Work

Body Work is more than just a massage, it's a... Read More

Snoring: A Common Sleep Disorder

Sleep consumes as much as one-third or more of the... Read More

Relieving Hemorrhoids with Natural Remedies

Here are a variety of natural remedies that you can... Read More

Aphrodisiacs: Increasing Sexual Desire and Capacity

Are you among the millions of people worldwide who are... Read More

Pa-Kua Feng Shui Basics

FENG SHUI BASICSFeng Shui (literally "Wind and Water" in Chinese),... Read More

Aloe Vera, an Alternative That Will Improve Your Looks and Your Outlook

Do you remember your teen years? Remember that schoolmate that... Read More

Why Do So Many People Seem To Have Allergies?

Allergies and asthma arise from loss of the body's natural... Read More

Chronic Back Pain

Magnetic Advantage Newsletter FEATURED TOPIC... Read More

Aromatherapy ? Part II: Mind and Emotions

The Sense of Smell forms the greater part of our... Read More

Low Back Pain - Ayurvedic Management

Low back pain is one of the most common pain... Read More