How to Overcome a Bad First Impression

Have any of these situations happened to you? Forgetting your client's name, unintentionally insulting a co-worker, spilling coffee on your boss, not recognizing an old friend, drinking too much at the company party, sending a racy e-mail to the wrong person, or asking a woman's due date when she's not pregnant ? ouch! You never have a second chance to make a first impression, so what happens when that first impression is a negative one?

In a perfect world none of these things would occur, but the truth is, we all make mistakes. Effective communicators are not only aware of how their actions impact others; they also know how to respond in uncomfortable situations. If handled properly, flubs can actually serve to strengthen your image and help you gain respect. If you've committed a social faux pas here is how you can recover.

Apologize Immediately. Time is of the essence when it comes to image damage control. As soon as you realize that you may have offended someone, address it. The more time that passes, the more the story can become blown out of proportion. While first impressions stick, so do last impressions. Take control of the situation by making your last impression a positive, sincere apology.

Avoid Over-Apologizing. Saying you're sorry is important, but overdoing it can create another uncomfortable situation. First, your goal in apologizing is to acknowledge your mistake and re-position yourself as being responsible and sensitive. If you repeatedly bring up the past, groveling and begging for forgiveness, you're defeating your purpose. Second, it puts the other person in the uncomfortable position of having to constantly reassure you. Eventually that person may choose to avoid you altogether.

Make No Assumptions. It's easy to assume that others think the worst of you, but usually what we imagine is far worse than reality. Approach your apology by owning your feelings rather than telling others how you assume they feel. This gives you a chance to test their perceptions and get a real handle on the situation. So, instead of starting out with, "You must think I'm a total idiot?" speak for yourself, "I'm uncomfortable with how I behaved yesterday because I realized I might have offended you. Did you feel the same way?" Starting out this way also prevents over-apologizing because the other person may think it was no big deal.

Be Sincere. No matter what the circumstances, a sincere apology requires three steps. First, own what happened fully without blaming it on other people or circumstances. Second, acknowledge how your actions affected the other person which means listening without defending yourself. Third, commit to what you will do differently in the future to avoid making the same mistake. Such an apology might sound like, "I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. After speaking with you, I can hear how much my comments offended you and caused embarrassment. I want you to know that in the future I will be more sensitive."

Humor Works. Depending on the situation, a little self-deprecating humor can save you. Make sure it's directed only at you and does not increase anybody else's level of discomfort. Sometimes calling it like you see it in the moment breaks the tension and provides an opening for you to recover. Be careful not to over indulge though. Too much self-deprecation can have the same effect as over-apologizing.

Monitor Future Behavior. Communication has a cumulative effect, so every impression you make builds on the previous one. Overcoming a bad impression requires that all future behavior be consistent with how you want to be perceived. It will take time and trust to change perceptions, but it can be done!

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, communications coach, and author of Positive First Impressions: 83 Ways to Establish Confidence, Competence, and Trust. She can be reached through her Web site, http://www.susanfee.com.

---

Offer Letter Limbo

Recently we concluded the placement of a Senior Sales Representative... Read More

Women Who Quit Work Abrubtly After Childbirth - Are You the Type?

According to statistics one out of every five pregnant women... Read More

The Six Figure Job Search

Before we start discussing how to search for a six... Read More

Does Your Resume Have What It Takes To Survive The First Cut?

Qualifications" or "Personal Profile") uses bullets and succinct wording to... Read More

Career Success: Get Ahead of the Crowd

Regardless of where you open your briefcase or palm pilot... Read More

Skills Make Labor More Valuable

As you know by now, if you have been a... Read More

Learn How To Network for HIDDEN Jobs

I'll quickly cover the following:A) Why Network With People? B)... Read More

Job Interviews and The Secret of Selling Yourself

A very effective and persuasive tactic when selling something is... Read More

Career Change - Creating Wealth & Happiness

Whether you have a business idea or not, here's what... Read More

The Global Work Marketplace - The Revolution Of How Work Gets Done

Will cubicles be a distant memory for today's workforce? Will... Read More

How to Write a Resume That Stands Out From The Crowd

Today's job market is competitive. Many companies receive hundreds of... Read More

Ten Great Careers For Single Parents

The challenges of raising a child by yourself, whether you're... Read More

Cover Letter Magic: 4 Ways To ASK For The Job Interview - And Get It!

Just how important it is to ASK for the job... Read More

Free Resume Examples: Use Them, But Dont

There are lots of free resume examples (or free resume... Read More

Online Resume Formats

There are several types of online resume formats that can... Read More

Job Layoff: Confronting Why Me?

Perhaps you saw it coming. The fall in company stock... Read More

What Makes Americans Hate Their Jobs? This Advice Turns That Epidemic Around

Here are the sobering facts: studies show that almost 70%... Read More

Top 5 Tips for College Grads Entering the Working World

1) Build a Relationship With Your Boss:Like it or not,... Read More

Cover Letters

Cover Letters: Are you telling them what they want to... Read More

Job Interviews: Use the Personal Touch to Get a Job

A study conducted by the Journal of Consumer Research in... Read More

Yes, Ive Had Gaps In My Employment History--What To Do About It?

Yes, I've Had Gaps In My Employment History--What Can I... Read More

Job Tips For The Frustrated Job Seeker

There is nothing more frustrating and depressing when you are... Read More

Tips for Handling On the Job Setbacks

If you've chosen a business career, you will inevitably experience... Read More

Job Search: The End of the Line

There is an end to the job search tunnel!It has... Read More

Success at Work : People Skills : Networking

Getting along with your co-workers is critical to yourhappiness and... Read More