Freudian Slippage

Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's market to get our supply of fruits and veggies, leaving Sandra to sleep in. I have strolled up and down, stopping at various vendors to buy the things that appeal to me today and my 2 bags are bulging. This is a process I always enjoy.

The noise of the vendors extolling the virtues of their produce; the smells and colors, the relaxed and friendly camaraderie of both buyers and sellers all add up to produce an atmosphere of good vibrations.

As I pass one vegetable stall for the 2nd time, the lady asks, "Can I help you darlin?"

"Tomatoes." I reply.

"Nope, taint none dis week. Try some ohbahjeans"

"Pardon me?" I reply.

"What for? You done somefin wrong already so early in da day?" she says.

"Probably," I respond, "but what I meant is: -- I did not catch what you said."

"Ohbahjeans. Try some. Plenty good. Good for you too." she waves her hand to the left. My eye follows.

Aha! Eggplant. Aubergine. I catch on. They do look good. She has both kinds, the white ones and the purple ones. "Ok, sure, I'll take some of the purple ones. "

"Not purple, honey, dey black like me. Dey full and firm an taste mighty fine too, jus like me."

Even after living ten years in the Caribbean, the everyday casual ribald humor still surprises me occasionally and I am never quite sure how to respond.

In my haste to hopefully change the subject, I blurt out "I see you also have some zucchini. Too bad you have no tomatoes. I could make some ratatouille."

She immediately comes back with, "You come home wit me sweetie and we make somefin mighty fine wit da zucchini and ohbahjean. You don't need no young tomato. Dey not ripe yet."

The lady at the next stand is chuckling and I am blushing the color of my missing tomatoes.

"Ooh boy, you in trouble now," exclaims the lady next door, "Her eggplant mess up many man 'fore you."

"Well, I'd better just take some eggplant home to cook up later," I say, hoping to extricate myself from further embarrassment.

"Honey, you always eat at home, you missin out on some fine island dinin," explains my saucy purveyor of aubergines.

"You bes be careful," counters her neighbor, "you eat in her kitchen, you maybe not go home."

I am in over my head. I can only smile and play the bemused straight man to their comedy tag team.

"How do you suggest these eggplant be cooked?" I ask, resigned to setting myself up for more.

"Bes to cook em up slow n easy, wit plenty a spice." answers my vendor, " hot n juicy is da way dey done best."

"Maybe da man ina hurry," enjoins her partner, "if'n he's extra hungry dis morning, fry em up fast, den givem a second helpin."

"He not dat young; he know a good meal take time to do right ," rejoins the first.

"You ladies are too good for me. I'll just take half a dozen eggplants and go home," I answer.

She gives me 8. "Man always want more than he ask for first time," she tells me with a wicked smile.

"I suppose that'd be true," I say, as I pay. "Thank you."

"You come again anytime honey." she tells me as I walk away.

"Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace
Molly is the singer in a band
Desmond say to Molly, girl I like your face
And Molly says this as she takes him be the hand...

Ohbahjean, ob-la-da,
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
And if you want some fun
take Ob-la-di-bla-da"

echo the Beatles in my head as I drive home.

"Moussaka for dinner tonight by candlelight," I tell Sandra when I get home.

© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.

Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com

Reprinting and republishing of these articles is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.

---

I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born

I will start this by saying that yes, I did... Read More

[Not So] Outgoing Mail

I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail.... Read More

A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School

Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state... Read More

Important Safety Tip$

I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of... Read More

If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)

Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the... Read More

Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

One of the great benefits of belonging to a health... Read More

Silver Linings Are Everywhere

Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's... Read More

Humans are like Monkeys

Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much... Read More

Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That

Movie moments are nice things to share with the people... Read More

The Worlds First Comedian?

If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must... Read More

Military Wives

I... Read More

When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan

It's time for me to announce that I have a... Read More

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar... Read More

Eye Spy Potatoes

Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my... Read More

Your Stars Part 3

LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our... Read More

Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech

Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in... Read More

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least... Read More

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital... Read More

Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry

A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We... Read More

Space, and the Room for It

Space exploration came a long way since I was the... Read More

Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems

In Southern Germany in a town by the name of... Read More

Internet is My True Agent

You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time... Read More

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time... Read More

3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in... Read More

How to Build a Cobblestone House

He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More