Hidden Self Confidence

Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self confidence. Many people who are shy, or suffer from social anxiety, tell me that they lack confidence. However, their shyness or social anxiety is only one aspect of a constellation of qualities which combine to determine our confidence profile. Understanding peer independence helps many people to appreciate and build on their personal strengths.

Peer independence is the ability to 'stick to your guns' in the face of opposition or dissent from your peers. Some individuals have exceptionally high levels of peer independence, for which we should all be thankful. Peer independent people are the heroes in our society, the ones with moral courage who will stand up for truth and justice, regardless of fashion. Peer independence is a special, and relatively rare, aspect of self confidence.

As a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management, I regularly work with people with low self esteem or who perceive themselves to be lacking in confidence. Low self esteem can have its roots in a variety of sources -- accidents of upbringing, inherited disposition, recent misfortune. We are all vulnerable to this curse; just consider the way you feel immediately after receiving an insult. Low self esteem can affect anybody, with some of us more susceptible than others.

Yet when working with people who rate their own personal value quite poorly, who profess themselves utterly lacking in confidence, I often find that my clients have normal or even above-average levels of peer independence. High levels of peer independence are typically seen in leaders. Think of top politicians and business leaders. For me, the ultimate peer independent person was Margaret Thatcher. Peer independent people are iconoclasts -- they are not afraid to challenge convention.

When I find high levels of peer independence in a client I am always intrigued by the way their depressed self-image interacts with the honesty, integrity and refusal to compromise which are associated with peer independence. These are interesting people -- frequently very caring, stubborn and somewhat misunderstood. The first step in helping such people to rebuild their confidence is to highlight their great strength. Because peer independence is a wonderful quality, and deserves to be understood. It can also be a social handicap; the peer independent person is rarely a flatterer or charmer.

All manner of people can be helped with their self esteem issues. I particularly love helping people who have high levels of peer independence, because the gains can be so impressive. A peer independent person with high self esteem is a force of nature -- and a force for good. Society needs challengers, and a self confident, peer independent person can provide that constructive challenge.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence and self esteem. For further information relating to peer independence, and to assess your own peer independence and other confidence-related qualities, see http://www.confidenceclub.net/cont ent/peerindependence.php

---

Leadership Development for Success

In today's highly competitive world, there is a lot of... Read More

How to Become a Great Leader & Improve Your Leadership Skills

A great leader is able to inspire his/her workers to... Read More

Dont Be a Complainer

Complaining. There's room for legitimate complaining, but if you let... Read More

Coaching a Leader

One of my favorite memories growing up as a child... Read More

Two Vital Abilities Any Leader Must Have

As a business owner, you are a leader whether you... Read More

How To Get To Know A Disabled Person

When you first meet someone who is blind, deaf, or... Read More

Strengthening Leadership Development with Employees

Within every business lies a network of people who are... Read More

Transformational Leadership

"What is leadership?" When this question is asked most of... Read More

What We Can Learn From J. Paul Getty

J. Paul Getty planned to enter the U.S. Diplomatic Service,... Read More

The Six Essential Leadership Attributes

Leadership is the foundation for all organizations, whether corporate, nonprofit... Read More

Sometimes Leaders Need to Get the Boot

Today I stood up to a guy right in front... Read More

It Begins Like This

Jonathan was drunk multiple times before ever completing elementary school;... Read More

Partnership: Choose It or Lose It

Charlotte decides to do good. Charlotte is a highly motivated... Read More

Leadership and Power - Being the Boss Doesnt Guarantee Either of Them

Some people mistakenly associate supervisory positions, or seats of power,... Read More

Precious Moments

There is too much learning out there that we earn... Read More

All You Really Want Is Feeling Good

If I asked you what your goal in life is,... Read More

Rationalize Success Away

I was invited to do a Leadership workshop at a... Read More

Character -- Why It Matters In Leaders

"Character is much easier kept than recovered." -Thomas Paine"The best... Read More

Quality Leadership

The Lakota tribe of Native Americans has no word in... Read More

3 Es For Leaders - Engage, Empower, Encourage!

"Enflamed with the study of learning and the admiration of... Read More

Building Teams and Teamwork

A tight knit team is a group of competent individuals... Read More

The Sink Or Swim Approach To Leadership

Looking around in most corporate environments today you'll find mission,... Read More

Leadership and The Dirty Work

The airline, Jet Blue, has been featured in many magazines... Read More

Real Charisma, Clinton Style

What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is... Read More

Supervisor Training: Helpful Tips to Lead Your Pack

A new supervisor is hired to anchor a gardening project... Read More