Do You Know Which Door To Open?

Do you remember that old television program that gave the contestant the opportunity to choose one of three doors and receive whatever was behind the door?

I was reminded of this television program the other day when I was pondering a decision I was struggling to make. My usual process for decision-making is to make a list of pros and cons, revisiting and revising the list every couple of days. When I feel that everything is listed in the right column, I weigh the pros and cons and make my decision.

During this last exercise I had pros and cons on the paper but internally I was reading the headings as success and failure. Now, you know I know better! It didn't matter what I knew when making the list, I still kept reading success and failure. So, in frustration I put the list away and decided to let things sit for a few days and go back to it. This was really good advice, if I do say so myself.

It was in this waiting period that I thought of that old television program and the three doors. Now, it wouldn't be prudent to just choose a door and go with whatever was behind it, but the thought of the three doors made me realize I had three options. If I chose Door #1, I would choose option #1. Choosing Door #2 would mean I opted for the second option and if I chose Door #3 I would be choosing not to choose.

When it comes to decision-making we sometimes forget that not choosing is making a choice. We lose sight of the fact that not choosing can be healthy and rewarding. Now, of course, I don't mean you can just go through life letting life happen all the time, with no decision-making effort on your part. But, sometimes, that is just what you should do. When the decision-making is really tough, when you are thinking about it all the time and feel like you are getting nowhere, why not choose Door #3?

The next time I made my list I listed headings of Door #1, Door #2 and Door #3. Under Door #1 I listed all of the really good things about that option and then I did the same thing for Door #2. I did not list any cons! I simply created a vision of the best of both options. Under Door #3 I wrote "serendipity" (the gift of discovering things accidentally).

By not forcing myself to choose I opened Door # 3 and allowed myself the freedom of discovery. By not labeling pros and cons the success/failure identifiers went away. I now am able to discover whether Door #1 or Door #2 holds the prize I want to attain by envisioning, and living in the vision, of the best of both options.

Interesting Word History: English author Horace Walpole coined the word serendipity. In a letter of January 28, 1754, Walpole says that "this discovery, indeed, is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity, a very expressive word." Walpole formed the word on an old name for Sri Lanka, Serendip. He explained that this name was part of the title of "a silly fairy tale, called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highnesses traveled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of...."

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach and Motivational Speaker who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com.

In The News:


The Associated Press

Minnesota Gophers have extra motivation going against coach Tim
Pioneer Press, MN - 2 hours ago
By Marcus R. Fuller A stinging 44-17 loss at the Metrodome against Illinois last season was far from fun for Gophers football coach Tim Brewster. ...
An improved Juice awaits Gophers Minneapolis Star Tribune
Illinois can't look past Minnesota Chicago Tribune
Gophers, Illini see similarities in their success Chicago Tribune
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Minnesota education: Motivation matters
MinnPost.com, MN - Oct 10, 2008
But neither strategy will produce large gains in student achievement unless we add a third leg to the stool: increasing students' motivation to learn. ...
St. Paul Teacher Investigated for Sexual Conduct with Minor Claim FOX 9 News
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Mighty Motivation
Kitsap Sun,  United States - 9 hours ago
We all know that motivation is critical to consistent exercise. The challenge we all have, however, is keeping that motivation going. ...

Orlando Sentinel

Daly has personal motivation to beat Miami
Orlando Sentinel, FL - Oct 10, 2008
No one may have greater motivation to topple Miami this week than UCF starting kicker Daren Daly. Last season, Daly was on the Miami roster and had a ...
UCF Q & A Miami Hurricanes
all 11 news articles

Reuters

Hopkins concedes money is chief motivation
ABC Online, Australia - Oct 8, 2008
"My motivation is back pay," said Hopkins, who meets middleweight champion Kelly Pavlik in a catchweight contest in Atlantic City on October 18. ...
Kelly Pavlik, Bernard Hopkins Media Interview Transcript BoxingScene.com
Popular Pavlik still drawing crowds Taipei Times
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Motivation no problem for Forest's McCleary
This is Nottingham, UK - 10 hours ago
"I had a job in retail, which was motivation for me to do well in football. I was going to go to university, so I have that to fall back on. ...
McCleary upbeat over Forest hopes Teamtalk.com
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Sunday Star Times

Meltdown or motivation: how will you cope in tough times?
Sunday Star Times, New Zealand - 4 hours ago
JOB LOSSES and reduced access to credit will be some of the consequences of the global recession for New Zealanders but experts say we're well placed to ...

Sarcasm as Motivation
New York Times, United States - Oct 9, 2008
By Amanda M. Fairbanks While concerts, bus tours or celebrity-laden public service announcements may help lure young people to the polls, ...

Music, movement and motivation
Haldimand Review, Canada - Oct 10, 2008
The student body was introduced to the term when St. Thomas, Ont. performer Saidat Vandenberg brought her high energy motivational program to the Robinson ...

Mustangs use close losses as added motivation
Jackson Hole Star-Tribune, WY - Oct 10, 2008
And rather than sweat the past -- and sweat the five points and the three games they can't get back -- the Mustangs are using the losses to add motivation ...
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