Why You Dont Ned Motivation

As a life coach, I often hear people say they lack motivation ? in fact, the "motivation discussion" is almost a ritual with my new clients. You really want something, in fact you almost need it, but you just don't have the drive to get to it. As a result, you blame yourself; you get stuck in your disappointment, your guilt, or your frustration ? further and further away from your goal.

But why are we not always driven enough to meet our objectives in the first place? Is it that we are not sufficiently determined? Or maybe we are not tough and strong enough?

The way I see things, motivation is akin to the sap that runs in the tree: it keeps the tree alive ? in fact, it's essential to it ? but it's useless if the tree (our objective) is rooted in poor, unhealthy grounds. It's not our motivation that makes the objective real, it's the other way around: when our goals are healthy, the drive to take action flows naturally. When our goals are unhealthy, we have to push ourselves all along the path to "success" ? and we don't even feel like celebrating at the end (when we do get there).

So what is an "unhealthy" objective? It's an objective we hold for the wrong reasons, or with the wrong attitude: it's rooted in poor grounds. It's not that we should not lose weight; it's just that we decided to do so because we don't like (let alone love) ourselves and we think that will patch the problem. It's not that we should not start this new business; it's just that we are dead afraid of failure. And there's nothing wrong with studying law, it's just that we do so only to honor our (deceased) father's values and wishes.

There are many factors that can literally kill our motivation at its roots, but weakness certainly isn't one of them. The real motivation inhibitors go more along this line:

• Our objective is not a real priority (Going to the gym, when you have three children to take care of)

• We feel our objective is inaccessible (A brand-new Volvo when we can't afford a Toyota)

• Our objective was inspired or chosen by someone else (That law degree?Or maybe your partner wants you to stop smoking)

• Our objective is motivated by self-rejection rather than self-respect (Very frequent, and always overlooked. People trying to lose weight often experience that)

• Our objective is a strong "should", or a vibrant "must"; but not a "want" (It would be appropriate to be in better terms with the other members of our family, but we are too resentful about past events to really change anything)

• We are afraid of success, afraid of failure. Afraid of something (We are conflicted about our objective, we have mixed motives ? even if we are not aware of them)

• Our objective is not in alignment with our true self (Looking for a job in a field that doesn't feel right to us)

• Some part of us doesn't want to reach our objective, for some reasons (We know that when we do reach our goal, we'll have to do or experience something that repulses us)

• We feel overwhelmed by all the actions we have to take (we have a hard time taking one small step at a time)

• A recent failure makes us feel powerless

• Etc.

When we start looking at this, we realize that the results we get (or do not get) are an accurate reflection of what we deeply think, and feel. We do not experience in life what we hope for, but rather what we think we deserve, what we expect, what we are the most confident in. That's how we create. We will not feel much motivation for a goal that is incongruent with our profound beliefs and thoughts ? as idyllic as this goal may be.

Motivation isn't about toughness and strength ? it's about alignment. It's not necessarily about wanting something very badly? but more about wanting something completely. When we lack motivation, some part of us is saying, "I don't want to reach that goal ? it doesn't serve me". Maybe it's time to change our objective? maybe we need to look inward and take care of other things first (see the list above). Or maybe we just need to take a deep breath, relax, and listen to the wind for a while?

About The Author

Marie-Pier Charron is founder of Implosions, and editor of a monthly newsletter filled with practical tips and powerful self-growth strategies. To get your own free subscription, visit her at http://www.implosions.net

info@implosions.net

---

Seven Aspects of Making Brilliant Decisions: The Relationship Between Work and Self

Workweek: an opportunity for discovering and shaping; the place where... Read More

Five Ways to Expand Your Comfort Zone

Expanding your comfort zone isn't quite the same as building... Read More

Ready, Set, Action!

James 2: 17?faith by itself, if it is not accompanied... Read More

A Simple Motivation Technique For Massive Success

Want to hear about a simple & effective motivation technique?... Read More

Two Ways to Feel Fear

In a memorable Depression-era radio speech on the radio, President... Read More

Lights are Off and No One is Home

The other day I was on my way home, and... Read More

Can You Can Can? What You Can Do If You Really Go For It

One hundred years ago the laundry girls of Montmartre invented... Read More

Remember, Worse Things Can Happen At Sea, So..... Dont Ever Quit!

Throughout the many pages of scores of motivational books, with... Read More

I Give Up! How to NOT Say Those Words!

Boy, I tell you....it seems the world is just going... Read More

Challenge Yourself - Stretch Your Boundaries Daily!

Many times we fall into a sedentary lifestyle because we... Read More

All Talk And No Action; So Let It Be Written; So Let It Be Done!

It is so important to know how to motivate ourselves... Read More

Discover How to Stay Motivated and Be Successful

If you surveyed 50 people asking each their definition of... Read More

What Is The Value In Wanting To Accomplish Something?

When I listen to people tell me about some of... Read More

A Few Simple Things You Must Do If You Want To Be Wealthy

Making money is easy when you move to cause rather... Read More

This Emotion Is As Helpful As Ali-Baba And His Forty Thieves!

Are you afraid of your own best ideas? Do you... Read More

What Does Your Future Hold? Do You Have A Plan? Or Are You Just Waiting To See What Happens?

We often find ourselves in a situation in which we... Read More

Motivation - How to Design a Life

"Have you ever felt like you've become the worst possible... Read More

Are Your Dreams A Day Late And A Dollar Short?

One of the greatest challenges facing our ever intensive quest... Read More

Walking a New Road

(excerpted from the Take Charge of Your Life 6 CD... Read More

How to Become an Effective Self-Help User

"Know Yourself" That's what the big guy said way back... Read More

Top 4 Reasons Women Ride The ?Emotional Roller-Coaster?

1. Women have learned and are in the habit of... Read More

Book Summary: If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

This #1 New York Times bestseller offers some useful and... Read More

Every Passing Minute Is A Chance To Turn It All Around

Every passing minute.When I first heard this line, in the... Read More

Letting Events Control Your Life ... Dropping The Negatives And Moving On!

It's interesting to note how we sometimes become so inundated... Read More

Todays Trivia

I received an email today that said I could: "Make... Read More