Assume Personal Responsibility? Who, Me?

As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when we mature; we mature when we become responsible.

Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will gain or lose by the choices they make.

Personal Responsiblity is an ever widening circle of people, places and events affected by our decisions. In the center of that circle, an area which many people never get beyond is:

ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person. Examples are: Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only me.

The next circle of influence is:

YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other people's resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect my daily life.

And as we mature and become more sensitive, we are concerned about:

US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us. Some people and organizations I know, some I don't know yet, but they are a part of my extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers, school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.

The widest rim of the circle is to those we may or may not know:

The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth, eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.

As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and contribute to the well being of the group.

Assuming personal responsibility is the ultimate goal of growing up. So the answer to the question,Who, me? is Yes, you.

(c) Judy H. Wright, www.ArtichokePress.com

This handout© 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at http://www.ArtichokePress.com. To contact us, please write JudyWright@Artichokepress.com or call 406-549-9813.

In The News:


Media Mogul Tommy Mottola Finds New Star in EEBEE
MarketWatch - 6 hours ago
We're confident that co-parenting this business with Tommy Mottola will bring us to the next level of success." "We are delighted to partner with EVERY BABY ...

TheTimes

Make holidays brighter for children of incarcerated parents, she says
TheTimes, OR - 5 hours ago
By Kristen Forbes A Parenting Inside Out class graduate poses with her son. She and her two children will be gift recipients at the Center for Family ...

The great responsibility of parenting
Suffolk News-Herald, VA - 3 hours ago
Rather, the stories we are referencing tell us about the visible inadequacy that succumbs many parents. One recent story was about a man who left his ...

WAVY-TV

Beach schools to hold parenting forum
WAVY-TV, VA - 7 hours ago
Parent Connection welcomes the first in a series of guest columnists who will offer insight, research, and commentary on all facets of parenting. ...

Learning Parenting 101: Better Late Than Never
Hartford Courant, United States - Dec 1, 2008
Welcome to Parenting 101, a two-part introduction to the fundamentals of effective child-rearing. Upon passing this course, which will conclude with next ...

The Learning Community Provides Free Parenting Resources Via ...
PR Web (press release), WA - 21 hours ago
The Learning Community, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping parents with free parenting resources, announces the launch of its newly redesigned ...

Mothers welcomed to unique parenting support group
Curry County Reporter, OR - 8 hours ago
Gold Beach MOPS meetings are being held on the second Tuesday of every month from 7- 9 pm at the Hound Dog house, located at First Baptist Church of Gold ...

Even In Hard Economic Times, Noted Parenting Expert Urges Couples ...
PR Web (press release), WA - Dec 2, 2008
"Couples who decide to delay marriage and child-bearing, don't fully comprehend the ramifications of their actions," according to parenting expert and ...

ENERGYPARENTING(R) is the Antidote to the ADHD/Ritalin Epidemic
MarketWatch - Dec 2, 2008
It is a new way to parent that upends existing parenting models by transforming challenging children without the need for medication. ...

Obama victory encourages parenting advice
Great Dad, California - 21 hours ago
And yet he's still an excellent parent who finds time for his daughters," he told the news provider. In a speech in Chicago this past Father's Day, ...
parenting - Google News

Raising a Self-Sufficient Teen

Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More

Eco-Parenting

Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More

End Babysitter Abuse

Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More

Minimizing Homework Hassles

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More

Teach Your Children - Without Them Knowing They Are Learning!

The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More

Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends

One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Self-Reliance and Potential

Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More

Friendships - Helping Children Develop Friendship Skills

Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More

What About ADHD Teens and Driving?

This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More

New Mom...New Baby...New Debt?

Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More

Speaking on Behalf of Our Children: Stop Blaming the Victims

How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More

Educational Toys - How Do Parents Choose The Best Toys For Their Child

The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More

What Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More

My Teenaged Parents

Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More

Empty Nest Syndrome

Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More

Banishing Bedtime Blues

"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More

Alias: Aptitude

Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More

6 Signs You?re A High Maintenance Parent

The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More

Achieve Success At School - Parents, Help Your Kids Easily Be Top, Honor-Roll Students!

With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More

Why have children? DINCs, This is For You!

First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part I

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More

How To Be A Bad Mother

As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Teens Say About Parents

What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More

EEG Biofeedback Training as a Treatment Option for ADHD

The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More

Mommies and Me Special Time

Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More