Friendships - Helping Children Develop Friendship Skills

Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.

More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.

Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.

Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.

The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.

Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.

Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.

It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.

Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.

Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.

However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

---

Four Tips For Alleviating Back To School Anxiety

Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More

Top 10 Mistakes by New and Expectant Dads

From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More

Diana, Princess of Whales

Younger generations unfortunately will not understand how larger than life... Read More

New Baby ? Relax and Become a Yummy Mummy

Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More

Banishing Bedtime Blues

"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More

Is My Child Lazy?

Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More

Would You Hire This Teacher?

Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More

Simple Indulgences for September

As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More

How To Foster An Environment For Successful Communications With Your Child

As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More

5 Tips For Talking To Your Children About What They See In The News

Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The Teenager and the Gorilla

Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More

The Ten Things That Successful Parents Do

1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More

More Water, Not Less, Will Help End Bedwetting

Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More

A Little Love, Please?

Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More

Creating a Memorable Travel Journal Using A Stuffed Animal

You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More

Teaching Reading: Part One

One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More

Now, They?re Bullying My Daughter in Our Home: Welcome to Cyber-bullying

Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More

New Mom...New Baby...New Debt?

Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More

Keeping Kids Safe on the Internet

The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 3 More Dangerous Myths

MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More

Legacy to Your Children

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More

Potty Dolls to Accelerate Potty Training Success

Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More

Committed Parenting

When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More

When A Parent Is Deployed

When a parent is deployed with the military it can... Read More

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More