What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You?

We adopted our first child when he was three months old. When we went to the agency to get him, he promptly stood up on my wife's lap and looked out the window. He was robust and happy, sleeping through the night from the beginning. In fact he was such an easy baby that we really wondered why parenting was considered to be such an ordeal. We found out later. In fact he was such an ideal baby that we assumed all were the same. Not so. Our second had colic and didn't sleep through the night for nearly two years.

As Clint got older we saw that he was extremely bright. At nine months he spoke his first sentence. Our cat crawled past him on a sofa, then jumped off and disappeared. Clint said, "Where did it go, the Wow?" A Germanic construction, for sure, but easily understandable. His verbal precocity stayed with him throughout his childhood. At age eight he called the local pizzeria to order a pizza (without our knowledge of course. When he finished, the clerk said, "Thanks for your order, Ma'am." We had to talk to the pizxeria to make sure he didn't make any more such orders. He was very gregarious and adults loved being able to carry on intelligent conversations with him.

He never was at a loss for words. When he was about three the mother of a friend of his had another baby. He came home excitedly to tell the news. When we asked whether it was a boy or a girl, he frowned, obviously not sure. Then he brightened and said, "It came out of Linda's 'gina, but it had Mark's penis." OK, enough information; it's a boy.

When he was five, a neighborhood grandpa-type died. He had been a heavy smoker and had told the neighbor kids that he was sick because of smoking and didn't want them ever to do it. (It was a great gift, as none of the kids, now in their thirties, ever smoked). Emmett died of lung cancer and my wife took Clint to the reviewal before the funeral. It was his first such experience. They were alone for a while, so she lifted Clint so he could see Emmett in the open casket. The questions were non-stop. "Why does he have a flag?" She explained that he was a veteran. "Why does he have a bracelet on?" She explained it was a rosary, or prayer beads. "Why does he have his glasses on. He can't see, can he?" My wife kept a straight face and explained that Emmett's family wanted him to look the way they remembered him. Clint asked, "Why didn't they put a cigarette in his mouth, then?"

He also showed great mechanical and problem-solving ability. Once he was with me when I tried to open the shed to get out the lawn mower. The lock was rusty and wouldn't open. "Why don't you use a rusty key?" Clint asked helpfully.

As he approached adolescence, the phrase "too smart for his own good" fit him to a tee. Bored in school. Clint began finding friends who shared his strong interest in cars. Some of them were into stealing car parts or "borrowing" cars for joy rides. He was usually the planner and the lookout rather than the perpetrator, but that didn't keep him from troubles with the law that he couldn't talk his way out of. We had several dismal years of bailing him out of jail, court appearances and stays in correction facilities.

We all survived through some very trying times. If there's a solution in dealing with a too-bright kid, it's listening. Try to figure out what he's thinking so you have a chance to avert plans that you know will end in trouble. Let him know you're proud of him but will keep a watchful eye. Remind him that you sometimes need him to slow down and explain things, and think them through.

Most of all, do the toughest thing of all and set limits. They'll hate you for it at the time, but in the end they'll thank you.

John Anderson is also known as Raymond John and has written The Cellini Masterpiece, which has been called Indiana Jones meets The Da Vinci Code. He has an education degree and has taught school as a substitute teacher in the Twin Cities' school districts. If you would like to contact him, please call up http://www.cmasterpiece.com

---

Tips for Parents of Teenagers: Dont Just Survive - Thrive!

What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research... Read More

How Illiteracy Can Ruin Your Childs Life

It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More

Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School

Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,... Read More

What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All

Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More

Assertiveness: Key to Better Parenting

I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More

Its OK For Your Child To Be Bored - In Fact, Its Recommended!

NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More

Twelve Tips To Connect With Teachers At Conference Time

It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More

Discipline

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More

How to Parent Your Teen Effectively

Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Say NO!

Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More

Choosing the Perfect Jogging Stroller

When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More

Punishing the Victim -- Why Public Schools Pressure Parents To Give Their Kids Mind-Altering Drugs

Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More

The Twenty-First Century Parent

John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large... Read More

Parents of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers: 7 Universal Laws

1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More

Patterns For Plus Size Children

Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More

The Thing with Quality Time

It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More

Preventing Obesity in Young Children

Do you have a young child whose weight or eating... Read More

Beginning the Special Education Process

Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More

Finding Answers to Underachievement

Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More

Monitoring Your Teens for Drug Use Without Appearing to be Spying

Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More

Parents --- Homeschooling Can Take a Lot Less Time Than You Think

The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More

The Effects of Televised Sexual Content on Adolescents

According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More

Let?s Google and Yahoo Our Kids? Education

I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More

Managing Your Stepfamily

If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More

How to Handle Child Tantrums?

Child tantrums are a way for children to express their... Read More