The first year of a child's life is the most crucial time for Dad's to be present and loving and hugging his child. According to clinicians in the first year of birth babies relate to behaviors not language.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to develop a strong relationship with their mother and with his children. Relationship is what separates the strong family from the dysfunctional family. A child needs a strong relationship with his/her father far more than he/she needs their father's resources.
Children need to have boundaries set by their father in order to know he cares. Father's need not be their child's best friend, particularly if it affects his ability to dole out punishment when appropriate. A father needs to be present at his children's extra-curricular activities. Doing so further strengthens the bond of their relationship and re-affirms the child of dad's support. Dad's need to assure their children that regardless of what error they may make, they need to come to him first: "I may not condone what you did, but you will have my unconditional love regardless. Please don't let me learn about an incident from another person."
When a father communicates with his children (communication does not equal lecture and communication implies two or more people engaged in conversation) they develop a stronger character and self-esteem. Studies have shown that when the father communicate effectively and accompanies his children to church they are much more likely to continue attending church as adults.
Positive feedback from a dad makes a huge difference. Example?Many young men in prison were told repeatedly by their dad that they were losers and would end up in jail someday. Conversely many successful athletes and professionals were constantly reminded of how good they were doing, what great potential they had and I'm here to help you be the best you can be?always.
I am not a sociologist or a clinician but I have 34 years of experience working with teens and pre-teens as a coach, teacher and mentor. I have successfully applied what I preach with my own children, Ann Marie (22, a teacher) and Anthony (16, an academic/athlete and mentor) who are my co-authors on the subject. We have spoken publicly at retreats, schools and churches. For more info visit our web site www.lunchbagnotes.com or call us at 818.991.8633.
Ann Marie is an Author and Speaker along with her dad, Al and brother, Anthony, who is a senior at Agoura Hills High School in Agoura Hills, CA. She is also a first time teacher; she will be teaching the 6th grade at St. Jude's Catholic School in Westlake Village, CA.

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More
Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More
Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Do you have a young child whose weight or eating... Read More
Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
Is it possible to be using our children addictively?Anything that... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More
Reading is the most important skill that a child must... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Answering Service ResourceAnswering Service Resource |