Bad Receptionists: Trick or Treat?

Posted in Holidays and tagged

Halloween is upon us, and you know what that means – masterfully carved pumpkins, pillow cases filled with sugary loot, creepy costumes, the night of the living dead, and the day of…the horrible receptionist. What’s more terrifying than not having a live person answering your phone when you need one? Having an un-dead receptionist who may murder you.

Hilariously depicted, manning your front desk, and sure to create a spooktacular experience on every call… SAS presents, “Bad Receptionists: Trick or Treat?”

From Dracula to Frankenstein, and every frightening and funny character in between, take a listen to our Halloween Hotline horrors. Guaranteed to give you a good laugh, it’s the very best of All Hallows’ Eve from the very best in small business answering services!

#1. The Sleep Clinic Hotline

Freddy Krueger on the Phone


Receptionist: Freddy Kreuger

Answering for: 9-10 Never Sleep Again

Greeting: “You have reached 9-10 Never Sleep Again sleep clinic hotline. This is Freddy speaking. Can I transform your nightmares today?”


#2. The Candy Store

Michael Myers On The Phone


Receptionist: Michael Myers

Answering for: Lampkin Lane Candy Store

Greeting: “Thank you for calling Lampkin Lane Candy Store. Are you looking for a sweet Halloween fix?”


#3. The Hockey Supplies Store

Jason Vorhees On The Phone


Receptionist: Jason Voorhees

Answering for: Crystal Lake Hockey Supplies

Greeting: “Thanks for calling Crystal Lake Hockey Supplies! What can we get you checked out with today?”


#4. The Wedding RSVP Hotline

Chucky and His Bride On The Phone


Receptionist: Chucky

Answering for: Wedding RSVP Hotline

Greeting: “Hi, I’m Chucky, wanna play? You’ve reached the Wedding RSVP Hotline. Are you a guest of the bride or the groom?


#5. The Party Planning Hotline

The IT Clown (Pennywise) On The Phone


Receptionist: Pennywise

Answering for: Party Planning Hotline

Greeting: “This is Pennywise, the dancing clown. You’ve reached the Party Planning Hotline. Would you like to place a balloon order today? They all float down here.”


#6. The Holiday Character Hotline

Jack Skellington On The Phone


Receptionist: Jack Skellington

Answering for: Rent-a-Claus

Greeting: “Jack speaking, are you calling to book a Sandy Claus for your upcoming holiday party?”


#7. The Thanksgiving Hotline

The Scream Guy On The Phone


Receptionist: Scream

Answering for: Turkey Carving Infomercial

Greeting: “Have a screaming good time this Thanksgiving with the best turkey on the block. Now, let’s teach you how to gut it like a fish.”


#8. The Dog Food Recall Hotline

The Wolfman On The Phone


Receptionist: Werewolf

Answering for: Wolves Are Aware Dog Food Poison Control

Greeting: “Thank you for calling Wolves Are Aware Dog Food Poison Control line. Hoooowwwl can I help you today?”


#9. The Hardware Store

Frankenstein On The Phone


Receptionist: Frankenstein

Answering for: Nuts N’ Bolts Hardware

Greeting: “Thank you for calling Nuts N’ Bolts Hardware. What can we scrap together for you today?”


#10. The Blood Bank

Dracula On The Phone


Receptionist: Dracula

Answering for: Once Bitten, Twice Shy Blood Bank

Greeting: “Fang you for calling Once Bitten, Twice Shy Blood Bank. Are you calling to provide a transfusion today?”


#11. The Home Inspection Hotline

A Ghost On The Phone


Receptionist: Ghost

Answering for: Specter Home Inspections

Greeting: “Hello, this is Casper. It’s a bootiful day at Specter Home Inspections. Are you experiencing a class 4 vapor?”


#12. The Funeral Home Hotline

A Zombie On The Phone


Receptionist: Zombie

Answering for: We’re so Glad You’re Undead Funeral Home

Greeting: “Thank you for choosing ‘We’re so Glad You’re Undead’ Funeral Home, where we specialize in apocalyptic services. Are you calling about our ad in Zombie Daily?”


#13. The Cleaning Hotline

A Witch On The Phone


Receptionist: Witch

Answering for: Double Double Toil and Bubble Cleaning

Greeting:  *Ah hee hee hee* (cackle). “Double Double Toil and Bubble Cleaning hotline. What is your broom emergency?”


#14. The Fabric Store Hotline

A Mummy On The Phone


Receptionist: Mummy

Answering for: Imhotep Fashions Garment

Greeting: “Welcome to Imhotep Fashions Garment hotline, where we specialize in gauze and linen remnants. How can we wrap you today?”


#15. The Hotel Reservation Line

Jack Torrence On The Phone


Receptionist: Jack Torrance

Answering for: The Overlook Hotel

Greeting: “Hello and thank you for calling the Overlook Hotel’s reservation line, here’s Johnny! Would you like to book our presidential suite?”


#16. The Pumpkin Patch Hotline

A Pumpkin On The Phone


Receptionist: Jack-O-Lantern

Answering for: Pumpkin Patch Almanac

Greeting: “This is Jack-O-Lantern with the Pumpkin Patch Almanac. Can we provide you with growth and harvesting estimates today?”


#17. The Boat Rental Hotline

A Pirate On The Phone


Receptionist: Pirate

Answering for: Scalawag Boat Rentals

Greeting: “Well, shiver me timbers, it’s another call! You’ve reached Scalawag Boat Rentals. Argh you calling about our wooden plank special?”


#18. The Family Counseling Hotline

Uncle Fester On The Phone


Receptionist: Uncle Fester

Answering for: Addams Family Counseling Services

Greeting: “Thank you for calling. You have reached Addams Family Counseling Services, where ‘we gladly feast on those who would subdue us.’ How can we torture you today?”


#19. The Bike Store Hotline

Jigsaw On The Phone


Receptionist: Billy the Puppet

Answering for: Tricked Out Trikes

Greeting: “Welcome to Tricked Out Trikes. Wanna play a game?”


#20. The Pest Control Hotline

Beetlejuice On The Phone


Receptionist: Betelgeuse (Beetlejuice)

Answering for: Deetz Family Pest Control

Greeting: “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! What pests are you looking to get rid of today?”

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